Freaky Foods

120 Christopher Street, New York, NY 10014 (map)

As I scanned the menu at this West Village pho and sandwich spot in search of freaky foods, my eyes were quickly drawn to one item in particular: bull's peen pho--a pho broth with chunks of bull's penis. So I ordered a container to go, since penis is a dish best enjoyed at home. The bull's peen was cut into discs similar in size and shape to the banana slices I put in my corn flakes, each with a hole in the middle: Eureka! Urethra! The penis bits had the same piquant zest and moist, granular texture as ground pork meatballs. Some of the discs were surrounded by a clear, gelatinous ring that made them tough and chewy. But it was tasty enough that I ate most of it before giving up. The next day, I received a text message from my mom asking, "How was the penis last night?" I hope she never sends me anything like that ever again.

142 W 10th St, New York, NY 10014 (map)

I took a seat at this West Village restaurant's bar and proudly ordered the crispy pig ears. I soon found myself peering down at a small bowl of what looked like dehydrated fried calamari. I was disappointed; I had come to eat pig ears and I wanted to SEE pig ears. Nevertheless, I popped one of the ear bits into my mouth and was surprised to find that it tasted like a piece of salt-laden fried chicken skin (in a good way). The cartilage was crunchy and reminded me of those desperate times when I've found myself gnawing on a chicken wing only to swallow one of the tiny bones. But overall, the pig ears were far less traumatizing than I imagined. Then again, anything deep fried tends to meet with my approval.

52 Irving Pl, New York, NY 10003 (map)

What are cock's combs, you ask? They're those fleshy red crests atop a rooster's head, and when I ordered them at Mario Batali's Gramercy tapas bar they looked like the innocuous, titular stars of a lovely beet salad. And then I picked one up. As the comb dangled limply from my fork, I saw the distinct shape of a crown: straight bottom, and turreted, spiky top. A bit scary, to be sure, but the combs actually tasted like the cepe mushrooms in which they are braised for hours beforehand, and the texture was like a cross between shitake mushrooms and fruit jerky. That made it easy to convince myself I was eating a something other than, um, cock's combs. But then I remembered Foghorn Leghorn and his floppy red crest, and I just couldn't bring myself to eat anymore.

239 E 5th St, New York, NY 10003 (map)

Woody Allen once said, "I want my food dead--not sick, not wounded: dead." Luckily, he wasn't at Jewel Bako when I ordered the live scallop, which came impeccably cleaned and served with a paper-thin slice of lime. I examined the scallop closely, but saw no pulsations or other signs of life, so I picked it up with my chopsticks and ate it. To my delight, it was just about the freshest thing I have ever tasted (though I suppose that makes sense). The slight hint of citrus highlighted the scallop's sweet, buttery flavor, and it virtually melted in my mouth. But I was careful to chew before swallowing--after all, eating a live scallop is one thing; having one swimming around your stomach is quite another.